About

In the Beginning: A long time ago in a…never mind

I thought I would share a bit about my path and what brought me here, for those who want to know. I was born Methodist, baptized and all. We weren’t a “church every Sunday” kind of family. We bounced from church to church because mom couldn’t find one she liked, and my step-dad wasn’t much of a church person. 

Looking back, the signs were there from a very early age, but there is a specific day that I think of when I point to where my path started. I was sitting in my room, watching the History Channel. It was October, so they were airing documentaries on religion, superstition and myths, Salem, and anything else historical and Halloween-ish. It was the religious documentaries that did it.

My faith had been slipping heavily for some time prior to this day, and after the third documentary about the contradictions between the bible and the church, something kind of snapped.  I just couldn’t believe it anymore. No amount of fire and brimstone was going to change that, either. The belief was simply gone. 

Realizing how liberating it was, I hopped on the Internet the next day at the library, and started searching for something I could believe. I would love to say my search was from a clean slate, but I can’t. I had a friend who was Wiccan, and so that was one of the first places I started. I looked at other things, but I kept coming back to Wicca.  I was hooked.  It was so different, and so much closer to what I intuitively believed. I read everything I could. I bought dollar store candles and bowls and glass cups, and my Wiccan friend had given me incense the Christmas/Yule before. I guess she knew something I didn't. 

It was an amazing time in my life, but it wasn't to last. I spent three years studying and practicing Wicca.  But I slowly came to realize that didn't quite fit either.  Close, but not quite.  Another two years was heavily eclectic, but still calling myself Wiccan out of convenience.  I kept reading, kept learning, collected a number of books and resources and finally hit the point where the title just didn't feel right.  Even the more serious aspects of Wicca started to seem too light and happy and....well, fluffy.  It just didn't work with the world as I saw it. 

So for four years I expanded and experimented.  I learned a lot in that time from many different paths.  I looked into many things.  Anything and everything, really.  Buddhism, Asatru, Heathenism.  I tried Druidry for a while, and Chaos Magick.  But none really felt right.  I came to realize no one's path would fit.  The only acceptable option is to operate my own way.  Forge my own path.  So that's what I've done, and I've never looked back.  I've accepted it and own it.  

There is no right path, only the one your feet take you on.  So I call myself the Walker.  A Walker of the Old Ways.  I am an animistic, pantheistic, folk-ish, solitary, non-initiated Luciferian hedgewitch. And this is my blog.  My path may not be for you.  In fact it probably isn't.  But if I've learned anything over the years, it's that you should never stop learning; everything and everyone you meet is a teacher in their own way.  If all they teach you is what you don't want to be, you've still learned from them.  So I invite you to walk beside me for a time.  I look forward to what we may learn together.